Another Ghost Sighting

At some building in the West.



Again, real or not? Decide for yourself.

My New Hairstyle

New hairstyle!

Real Or Not?

Real? Or just another video editing prank?

You decide for yourself.

Story:
This is a CCTV footage captured in a building in Raffles Place. Look at the end of the clip, and you will notice that a ghostly figure appears in the lift while the 2 guys are leaving it.

Scolding

Just scolded my class for being late. 25 minutes to be exact.

But come to think of it, the person to blame should be the teacher.

This is a Secondary 1 class, and because of that, they enforce this rule that no matter which lab or classroom that they are supposed to go to next, they have to wait in their own classroom and wait for the teacher to bring them there. This is to ensure that they do not make too noise when they travel along the corridors, and to make sure that they stay in line.

But this morning, one of the teachers is absent, while the other is late. And because of that, the class stayed in their own classroom, while one of the boys went to look for the other teacher. After searching in vain, the other teacher just suddenly appeared at the computer lab which I'm supposed to teach in.

To make things worse, the lab technical assistant was still not here yet, and thus the teacher had to make another trip to the general office and draw the key to open the lab. I can't draw the key because I'm not a staff of the school, and even if I could I wouldn't be able to open the door because they needed to scan the staff pass before the door opens.

So I shouldn't blame the students for being late. They were just following the school rules, and they also made the effort to go and look for the teacher in order for her to bring the class to the lab.

But the students still got a scolding from me, because they just do not know how pressed for time they are. They are required to do an animation of at least 3 minutes using Macromedia Flash, and it is not going to be easy. It will definitely take up a lot of time, judging on their proficiency in the program.

But instead of immediately settling down and get down to doing their animations, they ran around the lab and each student went to switch off the computer of another student, thus even wasting more time.

I guess they are still young, and are playful.

I understand the rule that the school enforced is to ensure discipline. But if that's the case, shouldn't the teachers know that they should be there early in class, or at least on time, so that they can bring their students to the next class?

Maybe the way of teaching in a secondary school has changed drastically as compared to the days when I was in GreenRidge, 11 years ago.

I still like the old way though. I'm old fashioned lol.

Pain

Ankles are still hurting like crap. Even after going for 针灸, it still doesn't help. And I'm going for soccer later -_-||


Had a conversation with someone last night, and I must thank him for giving me all the harsh and cold facts.

I know that for the past 4 years, I've had a great girlfriend in Cheryl. And I know that I am the only one to blame for losing her. Yes, I lied in order to avoid conflicts, and sadly she found out about it. Yes, it wasn't only once. It was an accumulation of events that led her to feel a sense of betrayal, and it's all my fault.

I would just like to say that no matter what I do, I do it because I love her, and because I need her. But it's just so ironic that it is exactly because of this, that's why I lied, and that's why we broke up.

Even if the whole world is against me or doesn't believe in me, I'll still do what I'm doing now. Changing to be a better man.

But to regain her trust is extremely tough. Not to say regain her love. But that doesn't mean that I will give up. I will prove to everyone who didn't have faith in me, that I will be someone better. Even if there is only a 0.00000001% chance that she will trust me and fall in love with me again, I will still try. The reason is simple.

I love her. A lot. 100%.

For now, I wish that I have people who support me, and trust that I can be a better man.

I really love her, and all I want is to regain her trust and her love. It's 2 weeks, and it already feels like 20 years. The pain in my heart is getting worse and worse, and it just doesn't seem to go away. Even my ankle pain pales in comparison to it.

Please, people. Trust me, and support me. But even if there's no one who does, I will still do it.

Stupid Me

Firstly, got my right ankle injured on Sunday while playing soccer. Then, to prevent it from getting even worse (it was already swollen), I twisted my left ankle.

And then yesterday, I stupidly went to play badminton. I actually forgot that both my ankles were injured, and carried on playing. It got even more painful.

And now, both ankles are so damn painful, even though I can still walk without limping. Can't put too much pressure on either side. My right ankle feels swollen-ish, while my left ankle has a crack sound whenever I put pressure on it.

Luckily I can still drive. I just have to shift my entire right leg to step on the pedals instead of shifting my foot only.

It makes things worse that I have to wear formally every morning from Monday to Thursday, and the leather shoe is so damn hard! And I can't possibly bandage both ankles, and go teach in formal wear, but wearing a pair of sandals. That will look so ... stupid. I don't think either the school or the agency will allow me to do so.

Guess I'll just have to bear with it. Rub it myself every day. Save money.

I should go buy bandage now, since there is nothing on for me tomorrow.


Morale of the story:
- Do not ask people out for sporting session when you yourself is injured.
- Do not forget that you are injured.


...


All these are done because I need to do something to stop 胡思乱想-ing.

But it just doesn't seem to work.

I must succeed!!!

Do The Test

I'll Cry Myself For Sleep

Heard this song on Yes 933, and went to search for it.

Until now I still don't know if the song name or the lyrics are right.


Rita Calypso: I'll Cry Myself For Sleep

I thought that you would never leave me
You said that we were never apart
But now you are gone and I'm all alone here
with nothing but a broken heart

And so I cry myself to sleep
cry myself to sleep
cry myself to sleep over you

So many little things you told me
made me suppose you really care
I can't believe you could leave them
not after all the love we share

And so I cry myself to sleep
cry myself to sleep
cry myself to sleep over you

Every night I want to hold you tight
Once again to try to ease the pain
Sometimes I wished that we've never met
There are so many things I'm trying so hard to forget

But if you find an excuse to leave me
If you should want me back again
You know that I shall always love you
But oh my darling until then

I'm gonna cry myself to sleep
cry myself to sleep
cry myself to sleep over you
over you
what else can I do
I'll cry over you,over you,over you...


Well the lyrics say almost everything that I feel. Except that I never wished that we've never met. In fact I thank every almighty being for letting me meet you. And no, I'm not trying to forget anything. And I won't too.

Another Weird Dream

Seems like I'm having a lot of weird dreams lately.

This time, I ended up at her house. I don't know why, but I just did. And she allowed me in.

She had a state-of-the-art computer lab, in which there were many kids playing computer games. I then joined the kids in playing the games.

They suddenly disappeared.

Only she and I were left in the room.

I asked for a hug, because it's been a long time since I did that. I really miss her alot.

She hugged, but only for 1 second, because her mom came back.

But, it wasn't her mom. It was my grandmother.

She then walked briskly into her room, and it's just me and her in the computer lab again.

...

My phone alarm rang.

Weird dream.

I really miss the 2 of them. Both of them used to be the 2 most important people in my life, and they will continue to be. Forever.

Bad Dream

Had a bad dream last night. Dreamt that I crashed into a car while driving. Twice.

The first one was a mild accident, and the weird thing was that the other party did not stop. He just drove off even though I was the one who crashed into him and wanted to pay him compensation.

The second one was bad. I banged into a trailer, got stuck in the car, both the trailer and my car exploded, and the next thing I knew I was in the hospital. Badly injured.

And hoping to see one person.

But it didn't happen. And I cried, while sleeping.

Do you guys cry while sleeping? You actually know that you're crying because of your dream, and yet you still allow it to happen, and you just keep your eyes closed and hope that you can go back to sleep again. It's just like when your leg suddenly has a cramp while you sleep. You just bear with the pain, but not open your eyes, hoping that the pain will slowly go away and you get back to sleep again.

I cried. And I dozed off.

And I don't remember what my second dream was. Maybe there wasn't one.

I wasn't even speeding in my dream! I was just driving at 60km/h, but it was on a really packed road. I could even remember that the first car which I crashed into in the first accident is a yellow Volkswagen Beetle. No license plate of course.

Hope it ain't a premonition of what's about to happen to me.


P.S. Happy 21st Birthday Esther. Sorry I can't make it for your party today. Hope you all have fun!

I Wanted To..

I just can't help but talk about what I wanted to do today.

Today is supposed to be the celebration of the 4th year anniversary of me and Dear. I wanted to bring her to the japanese restaurant that serves really good food at IMM. I wanted to buy her a pink DS Lite, because she saw how beautiful and small it is, while the previous DS that I bought her is relatively huge in comparison.

But, it just didn't happen.

I'll change, to make it happen.

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I'm now officially a chauffeur. Got woken up today at 9am, because my auntie overslept and she wasn't able to get a cab! Had to wake up, wash up and drive her to work. But luckily I slept early last night. Wonder how am I going to drive if there was a Champions League game going on last night.

Hope that she doesn't oversleep too often, else I'll have to drive her to work all the time!

.......................................................................................................................................................................

Went to Novena to eat steamboat with my auntie on Wednesday night, and again memories of her eating the steamboat together with us surfaced. I could even remember the exact details of the day where I drove there.

After that went to buy durian, but the stall wasn't open! Wasted our time to drive there...

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Just found out that Partyworld Cuppage is going to operate only up to this Sunday. Really feel like going with the gang, but I don't think that it is possible.

That place had many memories, and I would really love to go there one more time before it closes down.

Think I'll have to go and sing alone. Sounds stupid.

Therapy

Went out with Edward, Hwee Min, Thuzar, Haoping and Rick today to watch Vantage Point at GV Marina, as a mini celebration of the end of Coursework 4.

Had a nice dinner at Pizza Hut, and then went for a game of bowling in which I didn't do well, but still managed to lead my team(lane) to victory!

Scores:

Lane 3:
Edward: 96
Me: 155
Hwee Min: 51
Total: 302

Lane 4:
Haoping: 73
Rick: 120
Thuzar: 23
Total: 216

A victory of 86 points!!!

The movie was good, but I just don't know why Rick keeps complaining about it being not nice. I'm not going to say too much about the movie, but I just feel that the way that the director shot the movie is very interesting and new. A technique that I've never seen before. And I find it good. It's like a jigsaw puzzle, and slowly they come together and form the big picture. I give it a 8/10.

.......................................................................................................................................................................

But, I still feel empty.

While driving home, I cried. I felt so empty. Even though I'm doing all these and laughing at jokes, I'm not happy at all.

The laughters are fake.

I miss her alot.

If there are feelings that I'm going to have for this period of time, until the day that I'm ready to present the new Calvin Choy infront of her, and that she can start to accept me, it is emptiness, loneliness, sadness.

And determination. Determination to change for the good. For her. For me.

Determined

曾经有一份真诚的爱情摆在我面前，
我没有珍惜。
等到失去以后，
我才后悔莫及。
人世间最痛苦的是莫过于此。
如果她能给我多一次机会的话，
我会对她说三个字。
我爱你。
如果非要在这段爱情上给个期限，
我希望是永远。

Didn't know that this poem would be applicable to me.

But it did.

I've lost her, and I have no one to blame but myself.

But no matter what, no matter how tough it is, I am determined that I will change to become a better person, and when I'm ready, I'll reappear as the new Calvin Choy. One that will give her security, be independent, take care of her, and protect her.

And for now, I can only hope that everything is 顺其自然.

It's something that I must achieve. Otherwise, life will have no meaning.

Because she's the only one that I want.

My dreams of me marrying her, us setting up a nice little cosy home, have probably 1 or 2 kids, bringing the kids to school, and watch them grow up. I must make them come true.

I'll swear with my life, to God, to Buddha, to whatever Almighty up there, to my Dad, to my Grandmother, and everyone reading this as a witness: I will succeed. If not, take my life away, because it will be meaningless to live on without her.

Really Lost

Next Friday was supposed to be me and Dear's 4th Year Anniversary.

But now, it has ended.

Why?

Why was I so stupid to lose her?

It's 2 days already, and I feel like crap.

I don't know what to do. The only thing that I'm thinking of doing now is to change, and hope that she comes back to me.

Because I will never give up.

Never.

The only time I give up is probably the day I die.

I love her too much, that I can't afford to lose her.

Been crying alot for these 2 days, whenever I think of all the memories that we had together.

I don't want them to end. I want to have more memories with her.

I will change.

I love you.

Screwed Up Pandan Service Centre

I'm now at Pandan Toyota Service Centre, and waiting aimlessly.

I fucking made a booking on Wednesday, stating that I'll be coming on Friday for my 1000KM servicing. The lady said ok, and it will be registered.

But apparently, she did not put my car number in the list, and now I'm made to wait for non-booking. But the thing is that the queue is now at 85, and it's been there for the past 1 hour. God knows how long will I need to wait before the queue starts to move again.

I'll probably go home and make a booking on another day. But there's no other days that I'm free! Monday to Thursdays are reserved for teaching, and next Friday I've got school. Argh!

Fuck Pandan Toyota Service Centre.

One Chance

Please. One chance.

Allow me to prove myself.

To prove that we have many more years.
To prove that the past 4 years have not been wasted at all.
To prove that no more disappointments will surface.

Please.

Zombified

It's not a good idea to not sleep when you do not even have 2 hours of sleep the night before.

I ended up being zombified the entire day today.

Luckily for today, I had a 2 hour break from 11am to 1pm, as my Sec 2 Flash class is not back from their camp yet. I then decided to go home and take a short nap. And after I finished teaching, I then went back home and take a nap, again.

During my teaching lessons, I was basically walking around like a zombie, and not being able to catch most of my students' questions. But luckily, somehow I still managed to get through all the lessons.

Then became a student from 7-10pm. Not as zombified as in the day, but still only able to absorb 30% of the lesson, and the 70% rejected as they are useless.

No wonder people say that you need 7 hours of sleep.

I guess I'm getting old. In the past, I was able to not sleep for a few nights straight and still feel perfectly fine and fresh. But not anymore =(