Determined

曾经有一份真诚的爱情摆在我面前，
我没有珍惜。
等到失去以后，
我才后悔莫及。
人世间最痛苦的是莫过于此。
如果她能给我多一次机会的话，
我会对她说三个字。
我爱你。
如果非要在这段爱情上给个期限，
我希望是永远。

Didn't know that this poem would be applicable to me.

But it did.

I've lost her, and I have no one to blame but myself.

But no matter what, no matter how tough it is, I am determined that I will change to become a better person, and when I'm ready, I'll reappear as the new Calvin Choy. One that will give her security, be independent, take care of her, and protect her.

And for now, I can only hope that everything is 顺其自然.

It's something that I must achieve. Otherwise, life will have no meaning.

Because she's the only one that I want.

My dreams of me marrying her, us setting up a nice little cosy home, have probably 1 or 2 kids, bringing the kids to school, and watch them grow up. I must make them come true.

I'll swear with my life, to God, to Buddha, to whatever Almighty up there, to my Dad, to my Grandmother, and everyone reading this as a witness: I will succeed. If not, take my life away, because it will be meaningless to live on without her.